Let's give it a go again........

This year I have so many goals! I plan to blog daily. I want to get back to the things I love... starting with the ever popular Photo 365 challenge. Which I have done so far ;) on day 4 so not bad right? I always seem to start out great, then it fizzles. (will return later with those fabu photos)

To stay in better touch with my friends...

Health. This is huge for me this year! I plan to use this blog to document all things... to challenge myself. To hold myself accountable. To be honest with the world. To let it all hang out, I turned 34 a few weeks ago... just a reminder that time is slipping by and yet I am doing nothing about it. So what better way to start this year than to share a little journal entry I wrote up on sparkpeople.com. After a year of thinking about it, and forgetting, i finally signed up. Yes a year? where did the year go??? ouch...

So here it is world. Me - my thoughts - today!

blah... really? and why?

Today I've decided to take a stand. I'm sick, like flu sick, however I have to wonder why? Last week i started with this illness, i should be passed it and moved on, it's become more and more apparent to me that the reason I am sick is because well... let's face it. I'm not exactly healthy to begin with.

Years ago. Sigh. cough. I played tennis daily... i was busy. I worked constantly, i was healthy. Yet i felt so fat. At 17 years old and wearing a size 5/7 jeans @ 120ish pounds I was sure i was extremely fat. I beat myself up then. I mean literally as in daily. At 16 I took my first diet pills for fear that I was fat. They made me sick, shaky, thankfully they did and I put them down and never looked at them again. I was self conscious, never wore tight clothing, everything I had was loose and huge.

Today at almost 230 pounds, i know what fat really is. But how did I get here? How on earth did I let myself get to this stage. I'm not a lazy person, I don't sit here and eat constantly. In fact I'm quite the opposite, i don't eat enough. This I know. That one meal a day is wrecking my body more so than if I did sit around and eat all day. I lost the weight years ago with healthy eating... 5 small portions a day, nothing but water, something i swore i would never gain back. Yet I did, and have officially gained it all back. why??

Let's get back to lazy. I'm quite the busy mother with 3 children, full of active schedules/activities. 1 a high school student, the other 2 in middle school. Myself, well, a full time college student as well. When I'm not running around with the children, i have household duties to attend to. Most days I struggle to even find a moment to sit and breathe... I need structure, balance. I need to start here to start somewhere...

Point blank, enough with the excuses. Enough of putting myself and my health on the back burner and yet again allowing another year to go by that I tell myself I'm going to be healthy and then do nothing about it.

This year, this is the year that I shall do something about it! That I will feel happy and confident in myself. The way i used to.

It's time to discover me again. The me that I let go, the me that is trapped deep down inside this overweight body. I will unleash her, and she will glow once again. I will regain control over myself... my confidence.

Even more so, I will be a role model to my children. I will teach them to grow, love and admire themselves for who they are. To be healthy, to live healthy...

So there it is world... me holding myself accountable. This is it, I will DO this!

and if you read all that and stayed with me. Thank you!
I need support... and I thank you for it.
~xo... Sonya

LOAD - 13 - Believe

LOAD - 13 - Believe, originally uploaded by sonya.s.

Just about didn't make this one today... got a little side tracked re-arranging the living room furniture. Which then lead to the office, dining area/scrap stuff. Huge mess, but worth it in the end.

Thought about skipping, pushed myself to go ahead and do it :) so glad I did.

LOAD - 12 - My Perfect Life

LOAD - 12 - My Perfect Life, originally uploaded by sonya.s.

"My perfect life - with a side of crazy"

Started off today with the prompt... you know wife, mother, friend... but somewhere went in a completely different direction. and my card would most likely say: WIFE - MOTHER - MAID... hahaha. i almost put that, but anyways...

actually someone recently told me my life looked perfect via facebook. huh?? i was dumbfounded really - perfect? so far from it... so far. I wish? don't we all ;) I just choose not to put the negative out there, I try very hard to stay positive in life. :)

and there you have it... my perfect life with a side of crazy...

and... i used BRADS. i cannot remember the last time I did, oh and... those sparkly lovely KI LABS brads even. you know i've been saving those for the perfect layout, ha... why do we save things? it's been a few years now. Time to use those up ;)

KI Gloo wouldn't hold those lovelies, and as I can clearly see, ki gloo got on my layout.. sigh. why it doesn't show up til you take a photo? lol.... oh well.

Happy Monday all..... xoxo.

LOAD - 11 - Bday

LOAD - 11 - Bday, originally uploaded by sonya.s.

It's so nice to finally get around to some of these photos that have been on my hard drive for a while now ;) I'm often perplexed because I take so many photos that I want to include on my pages... i found this lovely template, storyboard action... it's AMAZING!! I think I will be printing photos like this more often for layouts.

Storyboard Action - to the 9's found at:

coffeeteaphotography.blogspot.com/2008/11/coffeeshop-to-9...

(btw... if you haven't ever used her stuff, I highly recommend it, she is AMAZING!)

LOAD - 10 - My Dreams

LOAD - 10 - My Dreams, originally uploaded by sonya.s.

Tonights... another later nighter :) I am loving this daily thing... its forcing me to be creative in one form or another. Even though it's late... proud that I am sticking to it.

Tomorrow I need to tackle the huge mess that has become the dining area. my goodness it's horrendous.

In other news, the husband has been sick for 3 days now, i'm feeling quite a bit better. Not 100% but the children seem to be good. This is a WONDERFUL thing... let's hope it stays that way :)

Speaking of sickness i can't help but think it has to do with the changing weather. Where did fall go? I don't even think it was here for a few weeks before leaving... cold, cold, cold today. Think it was 43 with windchill said felt like 39. Ick.. that close to freezing, too close for this time of year.

LOAD - 09 - I scrap because...

LOAD - 09 - I scrap because..., originally uploaded by sonya.s.

Yestedays scrappiness... grabbed scraps and went a little too crazy. 45 min later this is what I had... ha. Not liking it, but it was fun to create :)

LOAD - 08 - Brother & friendship

LOAD - 08 - Brother & friendship, originally uploaded by sonya.s.

still sick. just another digi for fun. I think I am loving digi... not in the sense that I would ever give up my paper products, no way... but how fab is it to just whip something like this together for photo books? thinking christmas gifts for grandparents this year... i know my grandmother would flip for one. :)

tomorrow it's back to paper and glue...