This year I have so many goals! I plan to blog daily. I want to get back to the things I love... starting with the ever popular Photo 365 challenge. Which I have done so far ;) on day 4 so not bad right? I always seem to start out great, then it fizzles. (will return later with those fabu photos)
To stay in better touch with my friends...
Health. This is huge for me this year! I plan to use this blog to document all things... to challenge myself. To hold myself accountable. To be honest with the world. To let it all hang out, I turned 34 a few weeks ago... just a reminder that time is slipping by and yet I am doing nothing about it. So what better way to start this year than to share a little journal entry I wrote up on sparkpeople.com. After a year of thinking about it, and forgetting, i finally signed up. Yes a year? where did the year go??? ouch...
So here it is world. Me - my thoughts - today!
blah... really? and why?
Today I've decided to take a stand. I'm sick, like flu sick, however I have to wonder why? Last week i started with this illness, i should be passed it and moved on, it's become more and more apparent to me that the reason I am sick is because well... let's face it. I'm not exactly healthy to begin with.
Years ago. Sigh. cough. I played tennis daily... i was busy. I worked constantly, i was healthy. Yet i felt so fat. At 17 years old and wearing a size 5/7 jeans @ 120ish pounds I was sure i was extremely fat. I beat myself up then. I mean literally as in daily. At 16 I took my first diet pills for fear that I was fat. They made me sick, shaky, thankfully they did and I put them down and never looked at them again. I was self conscious, never wore tight clothing, everything I had was loose and huge.
Today at almost 230 pounds, i know what fat really is. But how did I get here? How on earth did I let myself get to this stage. I'm not a lazy person, I don't sit here and eat constantly. In fact I'm quite the opposite, i don't eat enough. This I know. That one meal a day is wrecking my body more so than if I did sit around and eat all day. I lost the weight years ago with healthy eating... 5 small portions a day, nothing but water, something i swore i would never gain back. Yet I did, and have officially gained it all back. why??
Let's get back to lazy. I'm quite the busy mother with 3 children, full of active schedules/activities. 1 a high school student, the other 2 in middle school. Myself, well, a full time college student as well. When I'm not running around with the children, i have household duties to attend to. Most days I struggle to even find a moment to sit and breathe... I need structure, balance. I need to start here to start somewhere...
Point blank, enough with the excuses. Enough of putting myself and my health on the back burner and yet again allowing another year to go by that I tell myself I'm going to be healthy and then do nothing about it.
This year, this is the year that I shall do something about it! That I will feel happy and confident in myself. The way i used to.
It's time to discover me again. The me that I let go, the me that is trapped deep down inside this overweight body. I will unleash her, and she will glow once again. I will regain control over myself... my confidence.
Even more so, I will be a role model to my children. I will teach them to grow, love and admire themselves for who they are. To be healthy, to live healthy...
So there it is world... me holding myself accountable. This is it, I will DO this!
and if you read all that and stayed with me. Thank you!
I need support... and I thank you for it.
~xo... Sonya
You are anything but lazy! You are a beautiful, bright, blessed, hard working and schooling, and an awesome role model, momma! Awesome house cleaner and neat freak (like myself) who is also super crafty!!! I miss the heck out of you and support you 200%!!! You can do it!.....and I need to do it for myself too. I haven't been taking care of myself either. Sick all the time and fatigued all the time.
ReplyDeleteYou've got mine, thats for sure. I loved your post. Full of truth and conviction. Try to incorporate your photo a day into your daily activity, not only combining two goals but making yourself accountable at the same time. YOU CAN DO IT! And thank you for sharing this journey with us. I look forward to cheering you on from the blog lines.
ReplyDeletego Sonya!!! you can do it, and it will change your life - do it for yourself and it in turn will be good for your family too. I know it can be hard to make yourself a priority when you're pulled in so many directions, good for you for making this commitment to yourself!
ReplyDeleteLet me know your sparkpeople name and I'll add you as a friend on there :)
You got the whole tears flowing. I feel like I am reading my own journal.
ReplyDeleteWell I for one think you are a beautiful woman, who has really risen to the challenge of going back to school, having a hubby in school and children. If you can do that, I have a feeling you can ROCK this too :)
How ya been girlie? Hope things are going good?! I have my fingers crossed for you to pass your midterms!!! I know you can do it! Well, hit me back when you get a chance!
ReplyDeleteOk, girl!!! When are you going to update?! Please....pretty pretty please!
ReplyDeletelove your projects and your crafts!
ReplyDelete